Transcript (edited for clarity):
Do you want to tell me about your new friend?
This is Porco. He’s a cat. We’re foster failing him. It means we’re adopting a cat that we’ve been fostering. Petra did it too. She foster failed Hairy Pawter.
Why was this particular kitty the one you wanted to foster fail?
Good question. I don’t know the answer.
Did anything exciting happen yesterday?
My birthday.
How old are you?
Ten!
How does it feel to be ten?
For once, a tiny bit different than usual. I have to do two chores, I have more privileges, I’m in double-digits, I don’t know, a bunch of stuff.
What do you think you’ll remember the most from the year that you were nine?
The apocalypse. The corona virus pandemic. The plague!
What do you remember about when it started?
We were in Costa Rica.
How did your life change after COVID started?
I don’t know, I can’t really remember anything before our Costa Rica trip. For a while we got quarantined, and now we’re in Phase Three. We’re still in the virus, no doubt about it.
Can you tell me something that you miss, that you used to do before?
See friends all the time! Every Tuesday we see friends.
That’s true, we go see our quaranteam. Can you tell me who your friends are?
The ones I don’t get to see very often are Jack, Violet, Max, and Sam, and those.
Who else are your friends?
Noah, and on Quaranteam, there’s Thomas, Ruth, Esther, Esau, Jude, Elisabeth, James, and Petra who I see all the time because she’s my sister.
What do you play with your friends?
Lately we’ve been playing Narfmaker and Froggy Wars. Narfmaker is a 5th Edition D&D campaign run by Thomas. And Froggy Wars is a fully playable trampoline LARP, in which currently I am a giant death chicken. I started as a little froggy guy and now I’m the chicken-saurus Rex.
Can you tell me something that you like to do with dad?
Play Shackled City. It’s a D&D campaign meant for version 3.5, but we are making it into for Pathfinder.
What’s something you like to do with me?
I know there’s something, but what that thing is is unclear…
We’ve been listening to musicals together. That’s been fun.
Yeah!
And what’s something you like to do with Petra?
Play King of the Shadows, play Cat Chronicals, play Yum Yum Yum—it’s a game she made—play Root Up the Field, play Root Up the Sky, play Root Off Someone’s Head, Play Root Up the Orchard. That’s a series of games she made, the “Root Up the Field” series, which is about you’re being a gorilla and a snow leopard, and you’re trying to take whole orchards and fields and things back to your home.
Is there anything that’s difficult about being a big brother?
Getting yelled at by my little sister. Every day. And clawed by my little sister.
Can you tell me something you hope will happen this year?
The plague apocalypse will stop. DOWN WITH THE PLAGUE APOCALYPSE.
Can you tell me something you’re scared of?
The plague apocalypse.
Is that just going to be your answer to everything? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Either lemon gingersnap or chocolate or mint chocolate chip.
Can you tell me something you learned this year?
How to code and how to make podcasts.
You also finally learned how to ride a bike.
Yeah, on our road. I cannot ride a bike on other roads, I can ride a bike on our road.
We’ll work on that. Because our road isn’t very long, so if you can only ride a bike on our road, that’s limited. Can you tell me something that’s special about our family?
We don’t go to school.
What do we do instead?
Foster kitties! I mean, we do homeschool, but mostly we foster kitties.
Do you have a favorite school subject? Do you have a least favorite?
Math or research papers. So I invented Advanced Tiger Math! It’s based on a thing that comes from Calvin and Hobbes.
How old are you in Advanced Tiger Math?
One.
How old is Petra?
Seven.
How old is Dad?
Two.
Okay.
And you are also one. And Petra is much older than us, and Dad. Petra is the oldest.
Can you tell me something that you’re afraid of?
Plague apocalypse, and Trump.
Why are you afraid of Trump?
Idiocity. Ignorance. Evilness. Pollution, I’m scared of pollution. I’m scared that global warming will kill off all the penguins and the big cats and the rhinos and the birds and everything. We’re going horseback riding.
Can you tell me why you wanted to try out horseback riding?
I want to ride a horse. I’ve ridden camels. I’ve ridden cars. I’ve ridden bikes. I’ve ridden boats. I haven’t ridden a horse. Oh, I’ve also done bullfighting! In a dream! Though, I did bullfighting after falling down the stairs and being unconscious for a week, in the dream. And then I immediately did bullfighting once I woke up. I woke up in a bullfighting pit, in the dream. But as the bull was charging me, I actually woke up.
Do you have any messages for your future self?
Future me! Is the world better or is the world destroyed? Future me! Tell me! What will happen? Future meeeee!
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